TRP Adviser 18/8/17

This week we learned many things. The Greens have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, Chris Hipkins is still a smartarse and John ❤ Jacinda.

Meteria Turei is going to go down in history as the most egotistical, tone deaf and hamfisted political leader since, er, Donald Trump. This weeks One News poll, which puts the Greens on 4%, goes to show that her claim to be resigning to spare her family media scrutiny was yet another lie.

Turei tossed it in because she made an astonishing political error. If she genuinely felt for her family she would never have gone public with her fraudster past in the first place. The reaction to that revelation was always going to be public rejection.

I’m still waiting for James Shaw to be asked whether he approved of her stunt. If he admits he was in on it, expect the Greens to start polling at levels ACT would laugh at. And please, lefty blogs, get a grip. Turei is not the messiah, she’s not even a naughty girl. She’s a middle class poseur with a sense of entitlement that would make Roger Douglas blush.

Chris Hipkins is a goose. That’s an actually well known biological fact, folks. If you look at his upper lip, you’ll see a fine layer of down, which he has regularly plucked to fill duvets for Briscoes.

His immature smartarsery, asking parliamentary questions on behalf of the Aussie Labor Party, has caused Jacinda Ardern’s first crisis. Happily, the new Labour leader was able to bat away the potential problem by giving Hipkins a public dressing down and gracefully moving on.

On the up side, if the All Blacks need a proven right winger, Hipkins has helpfully shown that they can always call up Barnaby Joyce.

Expect Hipkins to have no serious Ministerial responsibilities in the Labour/NZ First Government. Like his lip feathers, he’s down and out.

Like the rest of the country, NZ’s top ranked golfer John Key has fallen head over heals in lurve with Jacinda Ardern.

Key said “The camera likes Jacinda. Paul Holmes once said to me ‘on TV they see your heart’ – she responds well to that so that works really well for her,”

Bear in mind that for Key, the king of the selfie, the camera never lies.

“She’s been on TV a lot, she communicates pretty well and in the end people want to vote for people they like”.

I’d hate to read too much into that line, but doesn’t that rather suggest the former MP for Waikiki Beach doesn’t think people don’t actually like Bill English?

If so, he’s right. Bill English is the living embodiment of the concept that you could put a blue rosette on a pig and many Tories would still vote for the oinker. Bill’s big problem is that John Key could get people who weren’t Tories to vote for him.

Anybody here think English has got that ability? Nah, me neither.

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